INDIAN NAME: Runs-with-Scissors

Monday, September 28, 2009

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

I just read that Lucy Vodden has died. She was 46. She was ill with lupus for many years, and succumbed to it's ravages.

Lucy was the inspiration for John Lennon's classic song, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Read about that here.

I am 46. Gulp.

I have lupus. I don't even like to capitalize the name of it, because I don't want to give it the respect it thinks it wants. I also refuse to call it by its common, more proper name, SLE (systemic lupus erythematosus), for similar reasons. I prefer not to give it a voice at all. That said, there comes a sort of tipping-point when it's necessary to exercise the notion that "to define is to limit", and that's where I'm at right now. But I won't give it more than I have to, just to get the upper hand.

I've been struggling with the worst lupus "flare" I've dealt with in about fifteen years, since the first part of April of this year. Meh.

Catch up here for what I've been through in the past - which, by the way, is totally common to anyone with lupus. 

Lately, it's like a hellish game of whack-a-mole. For myself, I can out-stand any pain you think you've endured. There are lots of things I just can't do, right now.  Physical endurance has to overcome pain, and, well, there's limits to that.  That doesn't mean I won't get back to it, when it stops.  And it will stop...eventually.  Eventually could come tomorrow.  I thought it arrived last Saturday, but alas...oh never mind

Struggling to wrangle it under control is like keeping a beach ball submerged in a pool.  It's really exhausting.

My grandmother had lupus and she also lived into her 80's.  For Gram, I will endure, and sometimes wish others would have more appreciation for those who've come before us - those who've lived long, and those who haven't. Not all of us will endure to see old age. Lucy didn't, and for that I'm sad.

Lucy had Britain's National Health Service. At least one worry she didn't have: If there were complications, which I have experienced in the past, she had the ability to be taken care of. 

I don't. And that should make us all sad.

Or, mad.  As hell.

I and others work so hard to fight to be well, and there are scores of people who simply fight to put off health care for us and others.  Since we make such efforts to survive lupus (and every other "chronic disease"), why in hell can't our legislators suck it up and get us some damned health care?  I'm not sick because of a lack of health care, but I have no where to turn if I experience complications. 

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds will live forever.  The pain won't.  And neither will the legislators who can't seem to do the right thing.  Or those supporting them.

Rest in Peace Lucy.  You look beautiful in the Sky with Diamonds.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

How One Little Kitty Will Save the World...Or Break It

I'm often asked what inspires me, so here's the explanation:

Blondetwit. Yeah, well, that's me...sort of...and kinda not. Got that?



The picture you see as Blondetwit is actually Abby. She's a pistol. She's just a year old, and is one half of the pair that's turned this house upside down.



Abby is not only attitude, or "cattitude" as we call it in these parts, but she came equipped with extra devices for which to execute her endeavors. She has 6 toes on each foot. As did Hemingway's cats, but Abby has additional phalanges (bones) on each toe, meaning she also has extra joints...giving her opposable thumbs, and actual fingers, rather than the usual kitty paws. Who needs claws when you have HANDS?



Now, add hands to the cattitude, and you have an entirely new species!

Ab's, as we call her, keeps at whatever she's doing until she conquers it. Then it's done - over - no longer on her mind. And I like that.



Even if it means there's a box in my office labeled, "Broken Shit". Everything in there had made the mistake of being in her way. I'll fix 'em in a couple of years...then they'll seem all new again to me.

(hear a kitty-snort now)

Somewhere along the line, I realized that Abby was really my alter-ego. Remember that old television show, Greatest American Hero? Where Ralph finds the super-hero suit in the desert, but loses the instruction manual for operating it? The running gag was Ralph learning to use the suit (magic jammies) by trial and error, where he'd fly upside down, run splat! into buildings, etc. If you never saw the show, go find it on the internet...it was fun.

Abby is Ralph. And I am Abby. So that means I have "Magic Jammies" somewhere, right?

Yeah, I'll go with that. Magic Jammies good.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Understanding: Health Insurance IS NOT Health Care

Virtually all problems are the result of poor communication. Whether intentional or unintentional.

Today, we have virtually violent clashes in society. Much of it the result of intentional mis-communication, some of it the result of misplaced trust of poor sources. Some of it simply because the person receiving the information has little capacity to really understand - that's not their shortcoming, but the shortcoming of the rest of us, and clear evidence in many cases of a source seeking to take convenient advantage of the recipient, usually for the source's gain.

Much mis-communication comes from our lack of paying attention to how what we say is actually heard.

Earlier today I had a disgusting and frustrating series of debates with people who are absolutely convinced it's appropriate to compare apples to oranges and arrive at avocados as the end result of the equation. I suppose with the information we provide, that may be the appropriate conclusion.

My bad.

For thirty years I've encouraged others to clearly communicate. So that's what I want to do, right here, right now.

Consider this as your definitive argument regarding health care, health insurance and health insurance reform:

Health Insurance is NOT health care. Health insurance at its core, relies on risk versus reward, which equates to one thing: profit on human suffering.

It was forcefully posed to me that I must also be against car insurance, fire insurance and life insurance. Those who know me would absolutely laugh at this. I come from a long line of life insurance agents, and was one myself. I consider it one of the most important purchases for any family, or any business. Everyone WILL die. Life Insurance allows survivors to carry on without financial tragedy, etc. Car insurance is based upon any individual's ability to maintain their PRIVILEGE to drive a car. Some fail that test, and there are always alternatives to driving, and not having coverage or not being able to drive does not create a moral dilemma. Fire insurance for your home or business, same thing basically as car insurance. No one lives or dies based on an insurance company's decision to cover or not to cover.

Health Insurance, by it's very nature, the same as car insurance or fire insurance, can exist based only upon a healthy and robust business model that can attract investors, or others to be mutually insured (as in mutual insurers, not stock insurers).

By the very nature of the business model, someone, somewhere, will make a decision about a human life. Actually, about millions of human lives.

An insurer will make the decision as to who lives and who dies. That decision is for God, the Universe, or how or whatever you believe - not a pencil pusher in a cubicle.

We must permanently unlink "Health Care" and "Insurance". The two cannot co-exist in a moral model.

To accept otherwise, is simply immoral. I'm sorry if you believe otherwise, because I've just called you immoral. I don't do those things often, in fact I usually refrain from such declarations. It doesn't make you bad, just wrong, and not "there" yet. That's okay, but you need to hurry up.

I'm not certain that what's on the table now is "right". It's probably not - but it's what we've got right now, and we simply MUST move forward and correct the single most immoral issue we could possible deal with as humans.

Health Insurance is NOT Health Care. It is profit taking based on who lives and who dies. That, my friends, is immoral.

There is no other argument here. And your failure to understand that argument is now in your hands. No longer my bad.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Divided & Conquered

I know this sadly dysfunctional family, long ago broken apart by divorce, precipitated by progressive and unchecked mental illness.

As the three children were growing up, things didn't seem so bad as much as just not "normal". At first, Mom just seemed agitated, and Dad didn't see too much to be alarmed by. All of these things were well hidden. Dad, grandparents, neighbors, friends - none of them could quite see the forest for the trees.

As the years went on, Mom effectively undermined the relationships between each of the kids and between the kids and their Dad. Mom even made sure that it was drilled into the kids that there was no one whom they could ever trust, but her. Mom did this by terrifying the kids in various ways, starting when they were all very young. She divided and conquered. She owned them.

As the two oldest children were now adults, and the youngest still a teenager, Mom had arranged to have all three of the children in the car on the freeway, late at night. It was a simple trip home from a family wedding party.

By now, Mom's mental health had deteriorated to a disastrous point. When one of the older children asked Mom a question, Mom deemed it a challenge and snapped.

Mom put her foot on the accelerator, and began driving all over the freeway - in traffic. All three of the children were scared to death, and the oldest son tried to wrestle control of the car from her from the passenger seat, while they were traveling in excess of 80 to 90 miles per hour. The teenager in the back seat just checked out mentally - he shut down.

Want to know what happened? Everyone is still alive. But they're not without grave scars from this ordeal and others. The children don't even have much to do with each other.

This story is just like what's happening today in our country. Our "mother", our government, our public servants, have gone nuts. They're utterly dysfunctional, and as leaders, they've sought to separate us from each other, and they've been totally successful. The republicans are demonstrating no leadership for their adherents, and the democrats aren't demonstrating any leadership to get things done.

Even if the car doesn't crash, the carnage is already apparent. And it will effect everything we do and everything we are from this point forward.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Droppings...of Bugs and Brains

Years ago, I lived in this crappy little apartment, high on a bluff above the beach. Anyone living near the beach knows that lots of pests come with living in such a beautiful place. It's the trade-off.

Every time you turned out the lights in this apartment, bugs would start lurking...great big cockroaches, little bitty beetles, big black ants, little red ants...all sorts of grimy slimy icky yucky bugs. (skin crawling in remembrance)

It's like that with the wackos in society today. Only it used to be that they were only there when we turned off the lights. Ask any cop. They'll tell you that as soon as the sun goes down, the crazies come out. Just like in my apartment.

I tweeted this metaphor a while ago, and it was commented that was a really good metaphor. Alas, this metaphor goes further.

When I lived in that crappy little apartment, besides when the lights were off, if you turned on the stove or oven, so you could cook and feed yourself, the bugs would come out - en masse. (think 'hot foot'.) If you can't stand the heat, time to get out of the range, I guess. (My apologies to President Truman for the hatchet job on his quote.)

Something's happened. We are trying to be progressive. Something most of us think is good. As we are trying to metaphorically "feed ourselves", cook a meal so we can sustain ourselves and thrive, all the while, the bugs are billowing out of the range!

The $64,000 question is, what do we do about it?

Do we eradicate the pests each day the best we can, and just wait for the next round of bugs to move in?

Do we set up some sort of toxic environment in which the bugs cannot survive?

Do we tear down the building that harbors the pests and start anew?

As we consider our options, it's prudent to remember, that any bugs left behind will breed...(metaphorically and literally).

By the way, anyone who lives here, in the USA, knows that these bugs, er, crazies come with living in such a free and tolerant country. It's the trade-off.

Oh, and no, I don't have the solution to this one figured out. It bites me just as bad as it does everyone else though :)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Rose By Any Other Name

Enjoyed a lovely lunch today with Mrs. Spring.

At a newer, small family run restaurant, it was only natural to be chatting with our server. She was a perky young thing, daughter of the proprietors I believe.

As Mrs. Spring was enjoying her fresh halibut, our server was anxious to know how she was enjoying it. The conversation, with much encouragement by the chatty server, went further to discuss other types of fish, fishing, and luscious additions soon to be realized on their menu.

Mrs. Spring and I were happy to hear that there would soon be oysters added to their simple, but well rounded menu. Our Perky Server knew precisely what kind of oysters they would be serving, but she was having difficulty remembering what they were called, and stumbled on her high-pitched, sugar-sweetened voice.

Perky Server: "Oh! we'll even be adding oysters soon! Oh, um...Rah....Rah...."

Me: (jokingly) "Rocky Mountain Oysters?"

Perky Server: (as she ran off to assist another customer) "Yes! That's it!"

There still is no good first aid trick when you over-bite your tongue.

In case you're not clear about the joke, these are
Rocky Mountain Oysters:

And these are not:

Good Choices!