"A Man will be Eloquent if You Give Him Good Wine" - R.W.Emerson

Patti Lawrence Watanabe marries Jerry Bond...Bonded for life they now are.

Dozens of us logged on to watch their unconventional nuptials on Halloween morning - what turned out to be a great excuse for a family brunch, so at least we could think we attended the wedding:)

They w(h)ined, and included the proper cheesiness for balance.  Something about squeezing his grapes....  




If you are loony enough and want more information, go here: Edgewater Chapel



Pass it on if you must.

Stealing Souls

It's been a long time.  I've been extraordinarily busy for the past few months.  Today, I must make the following comment.


The recent and tragic suicide of Tyler Clementi has set me off.  Tyler was the Rutger University freshman whose roommate, Dharun Ravi and another freshman, Molly Wei, actually broadcast live on the internet, Tyler having sex with another man.  Tyler, once recognizing the far-reaching ramifications, apparently decided his only remedy was to jump off the George Washington Bridge.

As this story has unfolded over the past week since Tyler took his own life, the conversations, and actual arguments have mounted over this issue.

There's the "he-was-having-gay-sex-in-a-room-he-shared-with-a-straight-guy" crowd.  Then there's the "make-them-pay-for-bullying-him" group.  There's the "his-parents-didn't-teach-him-to-handle-bullying-very-well" supporters.  There's also the "really-it-was-just-a-joke-it-would-have-been-the-same-if-he-was-straight" explainers. Then there's the all-popular "blame-it-on-the-internet" crowd, which is predominantly oldsters, if you will.

There is but one explanation - certainly no excuse - to this tragedy.

Boundaries.

There's people making excuses and it's just pathetic.  You and I - and certainly Tyler too - have a reasonable expectation of privacy.  Didn't matter it was in a room he shared with a roommate - the roommate would have at some point been doing the same thing and you know it.  Aside from privacy, we all have a reasonable expectation to be treated decently.

Just because we have the ability to photograph and videotape EVERYTHING, doesn't mean we should.  Just because we CAN broadcast virtually anything, doesn't mean we should.  I mean, really, you can.  But, should you?

It's the Golden Rule.  Or, based on how you state it, the Silver Rule.
Golden Rule:  Treat others the way you want to be treated.  Positive statement, active voice.
Silver Rule: Never do to others that you don't want done to you. Negative statement, passive voice.

The Silver Rule specifically helps to establish boundaries.  If you asked a kid about it today, they'd look at you sideways.  Most of their parents haven't managed to instill this in their children.  If you watch the news any ol' day, you'll see most parents haven't yet grasped the concept for themselves, let alone thought to teach it to their children.  God help us, politicians are miles away from this.  Most religious leaders are no where near this.  What the hell happened?

It's not about the internet.  The internet is a "thing", sort of.  It's not like you can put your hands on it, but it's still not human, it doesn't itself, think.  If it can't think, then it also can't form intent and therefore can't be at fault.  It's merely the instrument chosen in this particular situation to multiply the effects intended by the perpetrators.

I heard a high school friend of Dharun Ravi this morning.  He said something to the effect of, 'it didn't matter that his roommate was gay, if he was having straight sex he would have done it too."  Okay. So he's not a bigoted asshole.  Just a run-of-the-mill asshole.  That's helpful.  And yet, the kid making this comment, still didn't get it - he said it in a manner that made you think everyone did this regularly.

What would EVER make it okay to take a picture or video ANYONE during any encounter, sexual or not?  As a photographer, in order to publish any photos I use, for liability reasons, I need to have a signed release - and these people aren't having sex when I'm taking their pictures!

One comment I heard was, "it's collective behavior".  Dharun dared his Twitter followers to live-chat him..." (That's how he put the whole mess out for broadcast).  I challenge that excuse.  In fact, I'll use it to further the fact that Dharun knew that he was crossing boundaries with his "prank".  "Don't make me do it", if you will.  How about, oh, I don't know....DON'T DO IT.  PERIOD. 

Since the advent of modern photography in the mid-19th century, some Native Americans and Amish, as well as others, have shied away from being photographed.  Different reasons for this, such as the belief that it would steal their souls (same with portrait painting as well), to breaking the Second Commandment with concern to "graven images".  Much of this has been debunked to some extent over the years, but I'm thinking, they were all on to something. Tyler's soul sure got stolen.

I think they *knew* what was coming.  The Jeannie won't be going back into the bottle on that one.  Photos and video, and even live broadcast is all here, to stay, and right at our fingertips.

Problem is, no one should have an express right to another's image.  There's "casual use" that makes total sense.  You know, the two-year old's birthday party.  Traditionally, those photos would have stayed on the fridge under magnet, in a photo album or in a shoe box.  Today, those pics are uploaded to online albums that virtually anyone can access.  Is that right?  Is that A RIGHT?

It seems that this is an overwhelming issue, and it's not.  It's extremely simple.  Whether it be passive bullying by broadcasting a sex act over the internet or active bullying by beating up a kid different from you - it's about one simple thing.

Boundaries.

The Forces Behind Illegal Immigration

It's not what you think. I never hear these factors discussed, and they may surprise you.

I had no clue to this until years ago, a young man in my employ - legally - came into my office late on payday, frustrated because he was being charged so much to send his paycheck home - to Jalisco, Mexico. I loved this kid Juan, a tireless, competent worker who was also a caring and very giving individual. I would have done anything to have had more employees - and friends - just like him. Up to that point, I did not know he sent his paychecks home to Mexico. He sent every other one home, but he had to cash them first and then have them wire transferred. In those days, his weekly paycheck was about $600, and he paid about $90 to transfer the money. Juan asked my opinion as to whether I thought it would be safe to send the cash.

Would you send $600 in cash to Mexico? Me neither. Which is precisely why this is a big business, sending money to Mexico - as well as virtually every other country on the planet, but I'm going to focus on Mexico at the moment.

Juan worked for me more than 20 years ago, and this situation has grown, dramatically.

Sending money back home for immigrants, legal or otherwise, is called Remittance. And it's a big deal. So big a deal in fact, that in 2009, official remittances equalled more than 10% of Mexico's total revenues. Here's a chart from Multilateral Investment Fund of the Inter-American Bank:

That would be $21 billion dollars...and Mexico's actual revenues for 2009 were $206 billion.  But these numbers don't account for something important and difficult to pin down:  unofficial remittances.  People who hand deliver cash, or otherwise send it outside of official channels, estimated to be another 25-40%!  

This is only Mexico - I've not included in the math the remaining Latin America countries, those countries that most people in this country seem to be most upset about their "illegal" status.

The remittance practices weren't well understood until a few years ago, when the banks stepped big-time into the picture.  I mean, really, as a bank, are you not going to capitalize on all that money needing a safe way to make it to where it's going?  To a notoriously corrupt part of the world?  

As a result, fees the banks charge are astounding.  In fact, the fees got to be such a problem, that a non-profit organization was developed in recent years to give people one place where they could compare rates, fees and services offered: www.sendmoneyhome.org.  No, seriously.

Want to take a guess at how many fees are racked up on $21 billion dollars?  No one's publishing that amount.  I can't imagine why.

Since there's such streamlined methods of getting the money home, countries around the globe have realized they should capitalize on those dollars flowing into their countries, and try to use those dollars for community development funds.  

In fact, those remittance dollars, globally, exceed every kind of official foreign aid.  The World Bank has a blog where you can read all about remittances and development, it's called People Move.

So, last week, Mexican President Felipe Calderon said that Arizona's new law would hurt relations between the US and Mexico.  Are you starting to understand why?

If illegal immigration were stopped in this country, do you think it would pinch the banks who make so much money off the remittance payments?  

Are you starting to understand why...really why this issue has not been addressed until now?  And why so many politicians just want it to go away?  

Illegal immigration won't stop remittances, it'll just take a good size chunk out of the total value of them.  

But I bet you never actually thought about how many dollars earned don't go back into YOUR local community where they were earned.  From a local economic standpoint, these numbers are devastating, and should be considered as we deal with job losses and what those job losses mean in totality.  If money is sent abroad, it doesn't get spent at the local grocery store, in turn paying more local wages, etc.; that concept, if you're not familiar, is called the "velocity of money", and it's critical in terms of community development, and an important factor in determining economic status.

But don't kid yourself:  take a really good look at the chart above.  Then go roam around on the World Bank's blog listed above, maybe even Google "remittance", and see where else our money is going, and why being afraid of the brown-skinned people in southern states is merely tilting at windmills.

New York is Back!

I'm Loving the Man from Kenya!

Oh this post will get me into so much trouble.

Last night I finally finished my taxes.  Yeah....Blondetwit....duh!  Actually, I finished '09 AND '08 that languished all last year.  I knew I didn't owe anything (read: white-knuckle hoping) so there's actually three years to get them filed...not that I recommend that.

You see, when I did my '07 taxes, we got slammed!  I mean, I was in tears, couldn't figure out where precisely, I had so screwed it all up.  I am very analytical, so my response was to ultimately drag out the last 10 years' taxes.  And yes, I actually do know what the hell I'm doing.

Here's the short story on what I found out, without disclosing more than I would be comfortable doing:

In 2001, we made $30,000 more than in '07.  Interestingly, our deductions were within $100 of being the same both years.  What we had in '07 was that with $30,000 less, with the same deductions, we owed another $4000 more than we did in '01.  Our effective tax rate went from about 6% to more than 14%!  I've had people call me a liar on that before.  They don't do their own taxes and they know not of what they speak.  I've had others tell me they wondered if that's what really happened to them as well, because they've never 'owed' before either.  It shocks me how many people really don't understand their taxes.  No one gets that much money from me without me knowing precisely why.  And I don't mind paying taxes!  Take that teabaggers....

Aw gee Mr. Bush.  You've been so helpful.  And all that to support....oh crap, nevermind.  You know what it was all about.

Fast forward to April 2010.

I think, upon (personal emotional) analysis, that I avoided doing the '08 taxes because it frightened me to death...even though I was really quite certain that when I had re-done W4s and had more money taken out, we should have been covered.

For '08, we were   j u s t   b a r e l y   covered.  Our effective tax rate was was still more than 12%.

Once I got past my anxiety of '08, I tackled '09.  Lots of things have changed, but the bottom line is this:

We made $11,000 more in '09 than in '08, and, AND!, we had $5000 less in deductions.  Our effective tax rate had gone wwwwaaaaaaayyyyy down to a little over 8%.  That adds up to a lot of simoleons right there.

That's a damn sight better than double digits!  We qualified for a whole slew of new credits that the bad man in the White House brought to us.

Yes.  I am liking the Bad Man from Kenya.

P.S.  Have you seen what he's been doing overseas?????  Damn!  Who does he think he is, President or something?  Cheesh.

My Sincerest Thank You

Dear Friends,

Thank you. Thank you all for working so hard to get this health care bill passed today.  I take it personally, and I will never forget your contributions to an issue that so deeply affects me personally.

As many of you know, this bill was essential to me, even though it appears that it actually won't help me directly much, if at all. Read more about me, personally, here.

My late father would have made this comment:  No one ever invites a camel into the tent.  The camel's only opportunity comes when he gets his own nose under the tent flap.  When he does, everyone scatters and the camel takes his place in the tent.

The folks who put this particular tent up need to be herded out of there.  The work has only begun!  This isn't the bill any of us had hoped for, but we do now have our noses beneath the tent flap.

We are on our way, but we MUST stay strategically and deeply engaged in this issue if we are to change the fabric of this nation to what it aspires to be.

For us to make our way to a single payer system that covers EVERYONE, we also pave the way to the truest and greatest freedoms this country has to offer: economic freedom.

So long as we remove health care from employment, we singularly eliminate the most detrimental issue facing businesses and individuals in America today.  MORE

By covering everyone for virtually everything, it will cost less to save more lives and eliminate the vast majority of fraud related to health care, as well as the cost to fight that fraud.  MORE  And to quote Representative Sam Farr (D) of California, "...emancipate people into the workforce!"  A powerful comment.

Only when all the rest is considered, can we make way to the actual moral argument.  MORE

And, yes, I'm with you.  I would rather be in debt over health care than war.  But we don't need to be in debt over this.  At all.  We are paying way more now than we need to.  MORE

But you know all this.  And I know you're tired, as am I.  I looked back over the last 7 months and have figured that I have:  sent in excess of 4000 emails; sent more than 1000 tweets; sent more than 1000 faxes; sent 33 snail-mail letters; and left more than 1000 phone messages.

And I've blogged a little.  I know you have too.

Please.  Take a moment's breath and then please, double-down with me and let's make our way forward for what we really need.

I start Friday night, the 26th, as I meet with a promising candidate for my Congressman, Brian Baird's seat that he's not even trying to recapture.

Join me, will you?  We can all be tired together.  But if we're lucky, we can really make this right - as in absolutely everyone gets covered, for anything, and it skyrockets our economy for having done so the right way.

Yay Us!!

Oops.

Observations:

#2:  Republicans *appearing* to worship at the feet of the insurance companies.

#5: Your Father and your Mother need more than just catastrophic medical insurance.

#6: You are killing me, and many others with your LIES. And I don't mean figuratively or rhetorically.  I mean LITERALLY KILLING ME.

#7:  You are fucking all of us, now and continually.  You don't even kiss us first, let alone buy us dinner.

#8: You are stealing millions, even billions of dollars from the American Citizens every day by refusing to take care of this issue.

#9:  You lie.  See #6.  You lie all over the damned place.

Give me time on #10. I'm sure there's something in there too.

We CAN Afford This!

Read: CAN!

I decided I wasn't going to present figures for this argument.  Here's my challenge to you - if you disagree in any way, even the slightest little bit, I'm putting it on YOU to prove me wrong.  I invite you to provide documentable evidence to contradict me.

Eric Won'tor said we can't afford this health care proposal currently being discussed in the President's Health Care Summit.  That's the same as saying, I can't afford to buy my groceries at Safeway.  Well, not with the cash in my right pocket.  But if I dig into my left pocket, check book or debit card, the money's clearly there.  I don't really agree that the proposal on the table is the right one, but it's what we have to work on at the moment.

I use my state to start with.  My state spends five-big (read: $5 billion) annually through our state's department of Labor & Industries, in the payment of medical claims and fraud investigations for injuries claimed by employees to have occurred while working for their paychecks.  Time loss payments come from a different fund.

Every state has a similar department, with similar numbers, per capita.

This state generally declines most claims (not all states do, granted), forcing workers to hire a lawyer and defend their claims, costing the state even more.  Why does this happen?  Because if people get hurt playing around on Sunday and they don't have insurance, they commonly don't have any way to pay for their injuries, so they make it to work on Monday, and, oops! fall at work or some darned thing, just to get it covered.  The dance between employee and employer with these claims is extraordinary - it's not good.

There's always the argument that it costs more for the state to fight the fraudulent cases than it does to go ahead and cover them.  Tripping over a dollar to save a dime is just stupid.

If these people had some sort of automatic universal coverage, there would be no need whatsoever for the state to pay medical claims or to investigate the fraud.  This state, or any other.

Same things goes for Veteran's Administration.  The medical care component could be assumed under a national plan.  After all, if vets have automatic coverage under a national plan, what's the point of keeping the VA's medical component?

With each state contributing the dollars currently spent, the dollar savings, I would bet, would actually be substantial because you'd be eliminating duplication of services, and there would be no necessity for fraud on the individual claims level.

All the myriad of displaced workers working in 50+ state/federal departments could easily find work in the newly robust health care system.

Please read the book, The Healing of America by T.R. Reid.  It does a good job of outlining many international health care systems, public and private and variations of both.

Where am I wrong on this?  The gauntlet's on the ground.  I challenge you - let's hear it!

Cough! CouBULLSHITgh!

In the early morning hours, as the radio alarm clock was playing, I heard a comment about how members of Congress are becoming frustrated with a "broken system".

"There are many fine people in Congress."  I specifically heard that one.  Then this person went on to say, "But the system is broken."  Really?

So what?  The solution is to, you know, leave?  Give up?

Can I?  Can I call BULLSHIT now?

A "system" does not live and breathe.  An elected member of Congress does.  A "system" does not make decisions on how it will work.  Members of Congress do.  A "system" does not take bribes.  Or perks.  Congressmen...

Fix it you fools.

Or, is the plan that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em?  Yeah, the one where you too become a lobbyist and go forth and rape the constituents without worrying about being voted out of office?

All I can hear is George Carlin saying, it's all "high quality bullshit".

Naw, That's Just Silly

Maybe I just grew up in a simpler time.

I grew up in L.A.  The "Wild West" by all accounts.  I remember seeing the smoke from the Watts Riots (the first Watts Riots in '65).  I've lived in the Pacific Northwest for the last twenty years, and I've noticed a startling occurrence.

The cops in Portland Oregon shoot a lot of people.  I mean, A LOT.  According to copwatch.org, there's been more than 50 in just the last 10 years.  The most recent shooting of a young, unarmed man distraught over his brother's death, has resulted in turmoil for the city of just over a half a million residents.  Maybe it's just me, but that just seems like a lot, even to someone who grew up in L.A.

I sometimes make comments, off the cuff, that are relatively silly.  I did so around 2006 after another young man, mentally ill, was shot by a Portland Police Officer.

I said, "geez, you'd think they could, like you know, use a lasso or something on these guys - it could prove a lot less lethal."

Four years later, and I've thought about that comment a number of times.  Yes.  I grew up writing school reports about Will Rogers, and I regularly visited with my family the ranch and inn owned by Roy Rogers and Dale Evans.  Perhaps I was predisposed to the whole cowboy thing.

But seriously, I've seen many a cowboy and charro execute phenomenal lassoing techniques.  Beyond the obviously silly, maybe it's true that guns shoot to kill, tazers don't work on the people they're needed most on, and bean bag guns...well, those are just stupid.

The hysterical thought comes in thinking about retraining cops to use a lasso - a skill that takes hours (read: years) to master (which is presumably why it's not used).  Just think of all the YouTube vids of all the cops getting caught up in their own ropes!

Then again...maybe there would be just one less dead kid out there on the streets.  I mean, do we have to shoot them?  Really?  If you're a cop, and you're that scared of a frightened kid, you should hang it up.

I actually am a fan of law enforcement - they've saved my bacon a few times over the years, and for all those times, I am incredibly grateful to all of you.  For all of you who've managed to find solutions to disastrous situations without killing anyone, I forever thank you.

In case you're interested, here's a video of some trick roping I found.  It's kind of interesting, and certainly nostalgic.

Lookin' Like a Fool

I currently count 131 reasons why I love this.

First, quickly, enjoy the author's original version of this song:



Now, enjoy Jimmy Fallon's version, as it would be sung by Neil Young: