Sean, Rush, Glenn - They're all Progressives!

Another letter to the editor of my local newspaper this morning, tries to associate Hitler banning Christmas in Germany to people's objections in line with separation of church and state today.

"Hitler and his fanatical followers made an intense effort to abolish the traditional Christmas celebration in Germany.  He substituted the winter solstice, and Father Winter as gift distributor as a December holiday.  The people rejected the attempt.  It did not succeed then, and it won't succeed now."

I laughed.  Where do these people get this drivel?  I suppose, but I cannot confirm (or at least haven't tried), that someone on right-wing-nut-job radio or TV planted these "facts".

But then, a light bulb went off above my head!

Ohmygosh! This whole Rush Nutjob, Faux Noise, et al...is actually a brilliant Progressive conspiracy!

Oh shit! How freakin' dumb have I been?

It's so simple too.

All of this, based on an argument so old as to have been all but forgotten. The argument used to be made that women, black people, etc. (blond people?), were not smart enough to actually vote in our democracy.  As time went on and we all evolved and fought for our rights, women and African Americans did win their right to vote.  Much has been said over the years since then, about "they live among us, they breed, and they vote!" Usually these statements are contained within a derogatory email containing a picture of some unfortunate fool or as an advertisement for the website, www.peopleofwalmart.com.

That's what the Progressive elite are doing - without any doubt in my mind now - pointing out that there really are people too stupid to vote!

Yes!  I am saying that Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Rupert Murdoch, Roger Ailes...they're all Progressives!

By spoon feeding all the ridiculous drivel, convincing these poor fools of "facts" that are stupendously simple to refute - they are proving the notion that there is an entire subset of the population that are too stupid to vote. This portion of the population are so stupid, uneducated or unsophisticated enough to be dangerous in wielding a precious vote that effects the rest of this nation, and may place its very sovereignty in jeopardy.

I couldn't have considered this a viable explanation, if they had merely stuck to opinions.   When all these insidious Progressives work tirelessly to convince their sorry followers of facts that don't exist, well, that's where their ploy is exposed.  The brilliance comes in when they choose facts and events that took place when many who were there during the events and experienced them, are still alive to refute their claims based on first hand experience.  Even in the issues such as the foundation of this country, these followers make such mistakes regarding significantly documented facts and opinions such as those found within the writings of Thomas Jefferson himself, as well as others.

Indeed, the claims being bandied about today are so absurd as to be ignored by any authoratative historians and biographers.  Unfortunately, those very historians and biographers who could and would refute the claims have been all but silenced by the mainstream media, with the excuse that such claims are so ignorant, no one is seriously believing them.

Oh! But they are.  So much so, those silly claims are getting such common play that they're on the verge of becoming accepted.

Acceptance.  Therein lies the fatal flaw of the Progressive Ploy.

Oops.

T'was the Night Before Christmas

"Twas the  night before Christmas and all through the house, 

There were empties and butts, left around by some louse.
And the best quart I'd hid by the chimney with care
Had been swiped by some bum, who'd discovered it there.
My guests all had long since been poured in their beds
To wake in the morning with god-awful heads.
My mouth full of cotton, hung down in my lap
Because I was dying for one more nightcap.
When through the north window there came such a smell
I sprang to my feet to see what the hell...


And what to my wondering eyes should show up
But eight bloated reindeer, hitched to a beer truck.
With a little old driver who looked like a hick
But I saw it was Santa, as tight as a tick.
Staggering onward, those eight reindeer came,
While he hiccoughed  and belched as he called them by name;


"On Shenley! On Seagram! We ain't got all night,
You too, Haig and Haig, and you too  Black and White"
"Scram up on this roof, get the hell off this wall,
Get going you dummies, we've got a long haul."
So up on the roof went the reindeer and truck
But a tree branch hit Santa before he could duck.


And then, in a twinkling I heard from above
A hell of a noise that was no cooing dove.
So I pulled in my head and cocked a sharp ear,
Down the chimney he plunged, landing smack on his rear.
He was dressed up in furs, no cuffs on his pants
And the way the guy squirmed, well I guess he had ants.


He had pints and quarts in the sack on his back
And a breath that'd blow a freight train right off the track.
He was chubby and plump and he tried to stand right
Be he didn't fool me, he was high as a kite.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work
And missed half the stockings, the plastered old jerk.


Then putting five fingers to the end of his nose,
He gave me the bird...up the chimney he rose.
He sprang for his truck at so hasty a pace
That he tripped on a gable and slid on his face.
But I heard him burp back when he passed out of sight,
"Merry Christmas , you rum-dums, now really get tight!"

This I found in my father's papers.   This item is undated, but appears to have been written by him in the late '50's or early '60's. Pops and his bunch were hip, cool and definitely the party crowd.  I would guess this was actually a collaboration of a few of them.

Satanists in the Neighborhood

They come from near and far.  They point.  They talk about "those people".  "How can they flaunt that right in our faces?" they say.

Oh, it's soooo in their faces too - more so than Macy's Christmas Window.

Stay with this story, as it really illustrates something quite important.

Every year on Thanksgiving, we give thanks for the opportunity to get people all worked up for yet another season of merriment - ours.

It all started about eight or nine years ago, when we decided to do something I'd always wanted to do, but never really had an opportunity, since it takes certain circumstances to pull off.  I really wanted to do it because (duh!) we have cats.  At that time we had - Norman, The King of the Christmas Tree.  He took enormous joy in climbing the trunk and popping out near the top, to my continuous chagrin.  I just wanted to best Ol' Norm.  That's all -really.  At least that's how it started.

The ceiling in our living room peaks at about 12', and with about 30' of windows across the front wall where the peak is, that's a lot of windows.  These windows open onto a wide open neighborhood, where we are very visible at night time and have always provided for a beautiful display at Christmastime for the neighborhood.

The beam at the peak of the ceiling provided our opportunity.  We concocted an aparatus with chains by which we could hang the Christmas Tree, rather than sitting it on the floor.  Upside down.

Because, like, why not?

Here's how it happened:  We got the tree up (7.5'), fully lighted, and proceeded to decorate it.  The decorations hung out from the tree like dangly earrings.  How cool!  Every year the decorating has grown - more dangly and interesting ornaments, and, as planned, less cat interference. Another really neat benefit was that it took up NO floor space, giving us a lot more room for the entertaining we like to do.

Well, with the exception of Abby (story here).  Abby uses the Christmas tree like Tarzan's jungle vine.  But that's another story.  Initially Norman (who died at 13 a couple of years after the first upside down tree) was indeed bested by this hanging Christmas Tree.  I definitely won that round of the cat wars - and he seemed to enjoy that I had. There are ornaments on the tree that look like him, so we call it Norman's tree.

This gets better, truly.

Here's what's transpired as a result:   Some neighbors up the street interpreted this upside down Christmas Tree as a clear sign that we are Satanists.  As all rumors do, this spread.

Really. 

And people have come as word has spread.  It's really beautiful from inside and outside, and it's been amazing to us when we've made the comment of our upside down tree, people remark, "Oh! You're the one's with the Satan Tree?"  This has made it back to us numerous times over the years.

Did you know Satan had a tree?  I didn't either.  If people are really that stupid, we are overjoyed to provide them the fodder for their ignorant selves. 

Merry Christmas.  Merry Xmas.  Happy Hannukah.  Happy Kwanza.  Happy Solstice.  Happy Retailers Bonuses.  Happy Cats.  All of it.

But be careful!  Rumor has it, we MUST be Satanists. 

The really frightening part of this story is that it's totally indicative of today's political and social rhetoric - "Facts" based on simple, uneducated assumptions.